


Pot Pie

by fem_castielnovak



Series: WORST HUNTING TEAM EVER [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Humor, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Soulless Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 23:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4584156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fem_castielnovak/pseuds/fem_castielnovak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on blowjobcas’s prompt: supernatural au where everything’s the same except it’s presented as a dark comedy with team free will being composed of soulless sam, dean smith, and endverse cas.<br/>---------------------<br/></p><p>Drugs and an interview with a hangover</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pot Pie

**Author's Note:**

> Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in: a sequel.  
> And instead of using my time wisely, I'm spending my evening typing up two more installments, so hold on to your yoga mats kids.

 

 

“Cas…”

“Yes Dean?” Cas says, flipping casually through a skin mag.

“Cas, I feel sparkly.”

“You feel –“ Cas looks up at him and Dean’s standing in the space between the kitchenette and living space of the motel room. He watches as Dean’s tongue flicks out to lick his lips and his hands fiddle aimlessly with his tie.

“Why do I feel sparkly?” Dean asks innocently.

A smile blossoms across Cas’s features, gummy and gleaming as he answers with a question; “Dean, did you have some of the pie I made earlier?”

Dean shrugs, “Didn’t know you made it.” He ambles over until he stands at the end of the couch opposite Cas.

“But you had some.” What should be a question comes out as a statement and Dean nods, child-like, and sits on his end of the couch.

“How much did you eat?”

“… a lot.”

Cas scoots towards him but leaves just under a foot of space between them. “Is there any left?” Dean hesitates but nods again. Cas scoots closer, until their thighs are pressed against each other.

“Well I never got a chance to taste it,” he leans in close to Dean, taking the tie from Dean’s hands and into his own to fiddle with flirtatiously. “Would you like to help me finish it?”

Dean sucks his lower lip into his mouth and looks up at Cas from under his long lashes with wide, dewy eyes. He nods, still with an air of innocence but holding more enthusiasm than before.

 

***********

 

Sam walks into the room to find Cas more intimately involved than usual. Dean straddles Cas’s lap on the sofa and has his hands holding Cas’s hair in a death grip. Without breaking contact, they both tilt their heads and open their eyes to see who’s entered the room. From this angle, Sam can see something red smeared across Dean’s mouth and cheek and it looks far stickier than lipstick.

Sam kicks the door shut and crosses the room, “Did you get Dean high?” He puts down the groceries on the table in the kitchenette.

“Yes,” Cas responds when they break for air, “Do you think he’ll be mad at me?”

 “’M not gonna be mad at you,” he mumbles against Cas’s neck.

“No more than he was last time you did this.” Sam puts the cold stuff away but leaves the rest on the table.

“I like kissing you, Cas,” Dean murmurs against the ex-angel’s lips.

“Obviously Cas feels the same,” Sam says moving to snatch the keys up from Dean’s bed, “otherwise he’d bake his drugs into something other than pie.”

Sam’s comment is only met with smacking, suction sounds.

“Whatever happened to classic pot brownies?” he grumbles before exiting the motel room to go find a nice, seedy bar.

 

***********

 

“I can’t see.” Dean says calmly – no, more petulantly than anything, even as he keeps his eyes closed. He hasn’t bothered trying to use them since he woke up. But … the effort seems daunting.

“Try opening your eyes,” Cas murmurs in a sleep-rough voice, pulling Dean closer to his chest.

It takes a moment for the voice to register. Dean freezes up.

“No. No. No. No.”

“Mmm, yes.” Cas murmurs, pressing a kiss behind Dean’s ear.

Dean sighs tiredly, eyes refusing to unveil themselves still. “Alright, how far did we get?”

“I’m fairly sure you bruised my uvula but I don’t think your tongue quite reached my cardioesophageal sphincter.”

Dean wrinkles his nose, “So no sex?”

Cas rolls so he’s more on top of Dean, “I’m happy to give it a go now, but neither of us had any last night.” He closes his eyes and wiggles his shoulders, adjusting his head where it rests in his hands atop Dean’s chest, “Your gay virginity is still intact.”

Dean pushes him off and rolls out of bed, standing up too quickly and having to sit down. Once he’s actually on his feet he tells Cas, “Who says my gay virginity is intact?”

Cas sits up on his elbows with bright eyes, “You’ve had gay sex?” There’s a disconcerting edge of excitement in his voice.

Dean rolls his eyes but closes them, putting a hand to his throbbing head. He scoops up his duffle and shuts the bathroom door without answering his companion.

 

***********

 

“Mrs. …?”

“Marloe, Agent Plant.”

“That’s the fouth time you’ve asked her Dean,” Cas says reprovingly. The decibel of his voice is earsplitting to Dean and he winces.

Cas turns to the interviewee, “I’m sorry, he has a mild concussion, acquired in the line of duty this week.”

“Oh, poor thing. I have some aspirin in my medicine cabinet if you’d like it.”

“That won’t be necessary, he has a prescription getting filled at the pharmacy as we speak. But a glass of water might do him some good.”

The woman smiles kindly at Cas and gets up to go to the kitchen. Once she’s gone from the room, Dean puts his elbows up on his knees and leans forward, holding his head in his hands. He doesn’t mean to but he lets a small whine escape.

“Dean you’re being melodramatic. I’ve had plenty of hangovers – as have you for that matter – and none of them call for this level of behavior. Certainly not one caused by last night’s low grade activity.”

Dean glares at Cas, “Alcohol hangovers feel different than this.”

Cas sighs, “Don’t be such a child. We only have a few more questions and then we can go.”

Mrs. Marloe reenters the room and Dean sits up, gratefully taking the water she hands him.

Dean takes a gulp of water and a deep breath before picking up on the questioning, “Now, you said that your neighbor had begun acting strangely?”

“Yes, he’d become a completely different person! He never spoke to me anymore, he kept the strangest hours. I wouldn’t see him for days and days but then he’d come home and even then he stayed inside all day and only went anywhere at night.”

Dean hated when interviews got gossipy like this.

They finished their questions and essentially confirmed that it was at least two or three vampires they were looking at.

When they walked out to the car, Dean practically collapsed against it, “Dude, how are you not dead on your feet? Do you always handle hangovers this well?”

“Well, given that I’m pleasantly buzzed, I’m not exactly seeing double or having my retinas burned out in the cloudy sunlight.”

Dean groans and sags against the door, but his phone buzzes. He manages to peek one eye open to check the message.

“Come on, Sam texted that he’s got a lead,” he gets in the driver’s side and tosses the cell to Cas, “Just help me navigate me to this address. It’s in the middle of freakin’ nowhere.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Exits are to your left, your right, and your rear, restrooms are to the front, Kudos and comments are found below, and as always very appreciated. Thank you for flying Air fem-castielnovak.


End file.
